m@d ph0t0$h0p $k!!77$

I don't know how well you can see this example, but I've spent the past few hours today practicing re-learning photo retouching. Nothing fancy, just old school Photoshop (mind you, I began learning this program as a freshman in high school... in 1997, v4.0...) and it seems like for the most part I can still do it. Anyway, it's still fun to realize that no matter how crappy a picture is of me, I can probably make it look better if I invest a few hours sitting at my computer. Red spots, bags under my eyes, imperfect skin tone... buh-bye!

For a few seconds back then I thought I might major in graphic design in college, but an internship that almost raped my soul (and for the amount they were paying me versus the work I was doing, it may as well have been) quickly convinced me otherwise. At least I learned enough of those skills back then to have it help me out now, although I am admittedly behind the times in areas of technology these days. (My dad doesn't understand why, after this 10-15 year dated training, I cannot design - and program - myself a primo website for my portfolio.)

Hey, at least I can digitally "airbrush" pictures of myself. What more do we really need? (If you need actual graphic design work, try the assholes on Craigslist! Flyer design for $35 spells Q.U.A.L.I.T.Y.!)

Thanks for reading, and I hope all of you can understand and appreciate sarcasm and satire. Otherwise, please find another blog to amuse you, there are plenty. <3 <3 <3