Thank you to everyone who came out!

A heartfelt THANK YOU to all of the artists that participated in Dark Matters: A Halloween-Inspired Art Show. We had over a dozen artists showing paintings, drawings, prints, photographs, installations and more. Several artists sold pieces that night, including Miss Kristin Scholz, so congratulations to all of you.

THANK YOU also to everyone that came out that night (despite the unexpected double-booked metal show going on at the same time.) It was a fantastic turnout, even though at times we couldn't tell who was there for what event.

If anyone took any pictures that night, please get in touch with me, I'd love to post them.

Ooh, a Halloween-Inspired Art Show, you say?

Flyer I threw together using images
from Kristin Scholz (my art show co-collaborator)

We are working on the flyer(s) and figuring out which artists are going to participate. No matter what, it is going to be a fun & spooktastic show. I kind of want to get like... a punch bowl and make some kind of boozy punch with dried ice, like Halloween parties when we were kids. And candy. There definitely needs to be candy.

Most importantly, I need to work on some creepy paintings, like NOW, so they'll be ready to hang in a week. I'll be posting the rest of the flyer images as soon as we have them ready.

Haunted

Kristin and I posing for the camera during our show.
(Photo by Will Connelly Photography, 2011)

It was Monday morning after "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" that I woke up realizing that even though it was all DONE - I had little to no sense of relief.

Yes, the show looked beautiful. Yes, the event was awesome. I got a ton of great feedback about what a fun night it was, what a great party it was, how beautiful the show was, our pieces looked great together, our collaborative painting was successful - even the vibe of the entire party was praised. (There was a very small moment of weird drama, but I'm over that already. Not worth mentioning.) It was, hands down, the most ridiculous thing I've had to work that hard to organize in awhile (possibly ever?) and even though I woke up Monday morning feeling great about that - it was quite difficult to let those positive feelings linger for very long. I had a dress rehearsal I wasn't prepared for in a week, the season for my theater bartending job was coming to an end, I was still totally dirt poor (didn't sell any paintings off the wall, though I did have some folks interested in prints - unfortunately "interest" doesn't equal immediate payment, since I definitely still have to work for it) and a jagged, pointy wave of stress and worry had monsoon-ed out my happy art parade.

Shit.

And then of course, a few days later I get my letter of rejection from the Mural Arts Program - for a lousy summer internship, for Christ's sake. I attempted to apply to be one of their artists back in January, and despite filling out and thinking I submitted the form twice online, it managed to never go through. Since they review their artist applications only once a year (in mid-January, and of course didn't respond to my "Did that go through?" email until mid-February), I was for some reason convinced that the internship would be no problem. Of course I'll get it, I thought. Why wouldn't I?

Welcome to the real world, Xtina!

So I've felt like a complete idiot a couple times in the past few weeks. Between letters of employment rejection based on the one talent and skill I know I possess and then working my ass off for this show that was completely unprofitable - it's been a little difficult to look on the bright side. "Midnight..." was still an amazing night - and I will have a bunch of pictures soon to share with you - but damn, it was a little disappointing. I felt like I was putting in all this effort, and trying SO hard to make this happen - and I did it, and it happened, and it was like a slowly deflating balloon instead of a piñata full of candy. (Funny, I wasn't the only one to feel like this, either.) I have since sucked it up and moved on, and I will no doubt continue to paint and continue to promote myself as an artist, and try and make this art thing work. Besides performing, which I am relatively new at, so to speak - this is the only freaking thing I know I can do well. And maybe it's NOT a full time job, although with the right market and the right product it sure as fucking well can be - but yea. I got a bit of a slap in the face that Monday morning, and as of today (crossing fingers everything continues to go well) I now have another low paying service industry job. Good-ie.

But you know what? These moments of weakness are not going to destroy me. There are things in my brain that I see and experience in a visual, tactile way - an interpretation of a dream world, my dream world - that need to be expressed somehow. On a canvas, still images or moving picture, limbs poised oh-so-perfectly from a body, a carefully crafted (or duct-taped) costume for a performance. It's beyond me, it's something pulsing in my veins, something running through my neurological wiring. This is all I can do. This is what I do.

Aww. Hugs. <3
(Photo by Will Connelly Photography, 2011)

I'll post more pictures from the fabulous Will Connelly as soon as I get them on a disk. Thank you Will, Joe Zang, Kristin, and all the musicians and performers that came out for Midnight and helped make it happen. Even though this blog entry was all about *me* and *my feelings* (tough shit- it's my blog, bitches) - the show itself was really about everyone that was involved. We all came together and put forth amazing efforts, and created a really fun night with a great vibe, great art, and great talent of all kinds. These are my friends, and I love them. So more pictures of that event soon.

In the meantime, please enjoy this shot of my friend Sarah's new tattoo, which I helped design. Another friend of mine was responsible for the actual tattoo and reworking the design slightly to better fit her body. Besides my own, this is (I believe) the first artwork of my own that is now a tattoo on someone's skin. Enjoy!

New ink on Sarah G. Designed by me! Who's next??

Group show June 3rd with Kristin Scholz @ O'Reillys Pub

Just confirmed!

The lovely and talented Kristin Scholz and I will be having a show together of our work at O'Reillys Pub in Fishtown. The opening party is set to be June 3rd, which is First Friday. This most exciting event will feature a whole mess of paintings from both her and I and possibly a collaborative piece (just started talking about it, so we'll see how it pans out - probably a large scale painting) and we're working on trying to book performers, DJ's and musicians to entertain our art-show attendees for the evening. The idea is that it will be a destination First Friday spot instead of just one that people walk through and check out for 5 minutes.

Luscious warrior babe (not the official title) by Kristin Scholz

Kristin is one of the most talented artists I know. She specializes in screen printing (on paper and fabric) and is a painter/illustrator as well. I am in love with her female figures, which always seem to have the most detailed, ridiculous flowing hair in that duo-shaded style (like the piece above.) Her work is also usually pretty dark and creepy, which is an aesthetic I am attracted to even though it has a completely different aura and atmosphere than my own work. I think juxtaposing our paintings will work, somehow; I can at least rest assured the quality will be top notch. I've always wanted her to design a tattoo for me - and was always amazed how she could sketch anything (figures, animals, anything) off the top of her head without any reference. I'm the first one to have to paint from a picture or life, otherwise the image just doesn't manifest itself correctly in my brain.

We first met in 2001, both of us starting out as freshman at MICA, where we were neighbors in the freshman dorms. We soon became friends and spent most of the rest of our Baltimore years as roommates. It's not often you can find someone to live with for that long that you don't want to murder (we were fine.) Now we both live in Philadelphia and have been quietly and patiently creating artwork with all of our training and discipline while we work jobs that are just there to help pay the bills.

It's extremely exciting to be participating in a show with Miss Kristin (I sometimes like to call her X-tin - haha, get it?) and we will most definitely kick some art scene ass. Without a doubt it'll at least be a fun party - it's at a bar for christ's sake. Drink and be merry! Look at some art! And hopefully since it's scheduled for June it will finally, finally be nice outside and we can utilize O'Reilly's sweet patio space.